blah blah blah

by him

2010-05-09T18:28:00.001-07:00

"i love independent films.

i love independent music.

you have an iNDie style... "

& I love you.

new beginnings..

2009-12-11T00:04:00.000-08:00

going into 2010.. i come closer to discovering who I am as an ARTIST.. so I would like to invite you along the journey...

noahtheartist.blogspot.com

RIHANNA!!

2009-12-10T20:51:00.000-08:00

I <3 this song!!!!
I <3 this song!!

back to me & you

2009-12-10T20:13:00.000-08:00

Back to you
my heart stumbles
knowing that more likely than not
it will be handed back in a million
torn pieces
the moment it finally feels whole again
still it pushes on
closer to you
because there is not one person
that deserves to break it
more than you do
for never did it know
such beauty
existed
until you taught
me
how to love.

by: Leandra Stanley
Wednesday, 30 September 2009

Back to me
my hands tremble
knowing that I
dont know how to handle
your heart beat for
I dont mean for the hurt
that is bound to happen to occur
while i still feel
you push on to me
as I attempt to put the pieces back together
which is hard cause it's
like holding sand
yet still I fail
at loving easy
cause I allowed your beauty
which is existing with me
this very moment to teach me
how to love.

BY: NOAH D. JAMES III
December 10, 2009

SING ADELE

2009-12-08T03:00:00.000-08:00

....sigh. here her message.

to my friend D.

2009-12-08T02:40:00.001-08:00

its beautiful. like watching a butterfly struggle out of her cocoon.. im sure it had thoughts of staying a caterpillar after it realized how difficult it was to maintain its swag (the amazing colors).. stay committed to the process.

love

2009-12-08T02:27:00.000-08:00

is permanent!!

as said by;
leandralove.blogspot.com

=)

2009-12-07T23:00:00.000-08:00

feeling: excited.

I am getting ready to start a dance company though my school... details later. until then. the pregnancy is been too long. its time to give birth.

chocolate..chip

2009-12-07T19:08:00.000-08:00

MY fave

Jill Scott

2009-12-07T17:57:00.001-08:00

I've learned

2009-12-05T11:09:00.000-08:00

appreciation.
courage.
patience.
endurance.
long suffering w/Joy.
strength.
wisdom.

back to

2009-12-03T22:21:00.000-08:00

California...

..thank you PA for having me.

Just wondering

2009-12-02T06:10:00.000-08:00

Is our appreciation to God equal to taking advantage of Him. Cause we are never really ENTIRELY appreciative. Yet, we do what our human hearts can do. If it is taking advantage of Him.. isn't that what He wants. For us to take from Him, to go to Him when we need HIM, for us to learn of who HE is??

Idk. Just a thought.
All I say is, Im thankful for Jesus.

considering

2009-12-01T21:18:00.000-08:00

my sickle cell
..they said they didnt know how i was going to survive or stay room out here on the east coast.

so...

2009-12-01T20:11:00.000-08:00

i

2009-12-01T19:31:00.000-08:00

suck at love.
ive gotten [too] comfortable with single.

facebook quiz

2009-12-01T19:13:00.000-08:00

What book of the bible are you??
(Ecclesiastes)

You're a hardheaded realist burned once too often by the flaws of others and the emptiness of what society calls "success." Your wisdom comes from the school of hard knocks, which makes you a great advisor. You can't stand fake sunniness and social climbing; you're true, even if you're a little blue. Your eyes are clear, so without denying the reality of evil, make sure you also look at the goodness that's taking place around you.

Ima survivor!

2009-12-01T11:55:00.000-08:00

self part 23,000

2009-11-29T23:39:00.000-08:00

"I love you..."

...yea? whatever.

Adele

2009-11-29T14:07:00.000-08:00

Adele=truth
there is nothing I would not do..

NEW DAY=WEEK

2009-11-29T10:50:00.000-08:00

So I started the day off correctly today.. I didnt acknowledge anything or anyone BUT GOD. I spent some quality time just resting in the fact that I was able to take just one more breath.. and then another.. and another... (you get my point)

Confession: Im emotional.
Lesson learned: Ive learned to take every emotion and shift it into praise. As a result, my whole being is presented to God.. Im saying to Him that HE is more important.. and Essentially that is what He wants and seeks. Its amazing how many people hide from God because they think they are undeservant of HIS presence. If that is the case.. then question the reason why Jesus died..

exactly!

I take advantage of the fact that I am able to commune with God through Christ and assist HIM at working on OUR relationship, just be being open and honest and obedient. (key thing in that is listening.)

the truth sets you free.

I appreciate my freedom...

Untitled

2009-11-28T21:58:00.000-08:00

Im convinced....

... your uninterested.

I <3 HIM!

2009-11-28T21:30:00.000-08:00

Rahsaan Patterson... oh..

if your w/out sin cast the

2009-11-28T21:02:00.001-08:00

stone. I dont know if I want to go to church anymore...

Alcohol.

2009-11-28T20:41:00.000-08:00

you complimented my physical..
I took it to the head.
do i want another shot?

1 hour later (drunk)
I am not going to like this when i wake up.
Ive seemed to escape
where is the bread?

next day.
um. who are you?
your kind've cute.
I dont remember meeting you.. whats your name?
WAIT! where...are you going?? :[

Im convinced

2009-11-28T20:40:00.000-08:00

Im an object..
not a being.
-the hoe

FACT

2009-11-28T16:09:00.000-08:00

all my life people made promises to me they could never keep..
or plans they can never follow through with...
Im immune to it

Lush

2009-11-28T12:10:00.003-08:00

fresh handmade cosmetics.

www.lush.com

*my volunteer work*

OMG!

2009-11-27T21:48:00.000-08:00

When will I be great?
When will I be loved?
When will I be- I mean truly be- somebody?
When will I just be able to be me
and not have to act or think about "impressing" someone.
When will someone enjoy chasing me?
When will I stop chasing others?
stop chasing my own damn tail..
hmph.
when will I experience joy and happiness continueously?
(not to say that I am not content with where/who I am right now- or am i?)\
when will I excel the way that I want to,
high up there.
When will I stop recieving SSI?
When will my intelligence matter?
Who am I, besides Noah David James?
when will I not be considered "disabled" due to a blood disorder I didnt ask for?
When will I stop looking at myself in the mirror, wondering how i can make myself look better...
feel better..
talk better..
smell better.. shit when will I?

When will I accept I am just a nobody.
when will I stop blocking God's glory by questioning.. or is it complaining..
venting.
wait!
Anit I suppose to do this??

---Hmm

2009-11-27T12:14:00.001-08:00

I woke up this morning and appreciated the skin I am in...

Im going to Marry LUSH

2009-11-25T11:49:00.001-08:00

Sometimes we like to be subtle about things, but in this case, it's pretty obvious what we intended this Emotibomb for. We pack it with lovely relaxing and aphrodisiac essential oils to put you in the mood (you may recognize this sexy fragrance from our Retro Ginger fragrance line). Throw this into the bottom of your shower, turn up the heat and get steamy. We're always concerned about the environment, so we especially love this Emotibomb because it encourages shower-sharing.

please visit a local store or the website www.lush.com I promise it will change your life.. =D

you know what....

2009-11-24T13:52:00.000-08:00

NVM

self

2009-11-24T09:40:00.000-08:00

[looking in the mirror]--
It was/is you i need[ed] to focus on loving;

on respecting.

on cherishing.

on chastising.

on listening to.

on speaking to.

on appreciating.

on dating.

on exploring.

on getting to know.

on cleaning.

on believing in.

on knowing...

it was me.

spiritual growing pains, I feel naturally.

2009-11-23T12:14:00.001-08:00

Breakfast 7:15am

I had an urge to cry this mourning
but I felt like I didnt have enough time.
No was around to comfort me or
tell me that everything was going to be o.k.
My mind went back to my childhood days,
when use to numb my emotions -because of ignorance
i didnt know how to feel.. -

anyways.
my spirit didnt seem to want to cooperate.
"the Joy of the Lord is my strength,
the peace of the Lord is my rest.
the joy..the joy..
the peace... the peace.."
..I sang quietly to myself.

would you like some orange juice??

I just couldnt hold the tears back anymore
Im tired.
I keep believing.
I AM working hard...
Can I get some reassurance, some guidance!?
something...?
My tears just fall while looking at the sun rise...
How do you glory in hard times?
How do you smile when your face is frozen from all
of the cold around you?
Growth hurts.
funny thing is, is I thought I was
done going through puberty..

its starting to get a little easier to breath as I write this.
I can do this
I can do this..
I can do this..

do you really love me, Jesus?

Alfalfa

2009-11-22T19:00:00.001-08:00

I MISS THIS MOVIE YO!!!
GOOD TIMES... =D

Lady GAGA

2009-11-13T19:27:00.000-08:00

reminds me of Willy Wonka...

I still like her though..

BEing to love

2009-11-12T20:56:00.000-08:00

am I an object?? ...
I think so...
I wonder how a prostitute feels...
spending time with a person whose heart has stopped feeling..dead.
numbing the emotion.
trusting the pimp.
getting/giving a quick release only to be empty later.
Would you bust already?? (sigh)
its definitely a learning experience.

wake up the love for yourself

Minerals for taste

2009-11-12T11:40:00.000-08:00

Im thirsty...

so I drink from my questions that give me bland answers from who I thought was God.

I drink from my sorrows that tickle my passions and desires to dance- only I cant.

dehydrated. I search for a refreshing drink, that will quench everything that is meant to go wrong, for my good.

Do I want some of your drink?!? NO!

Gosh Im so thirsty... I guess I will have to drink from this tap water.

I changed my number today..

2009-11-11T15:52:00.001-08:00

Love is not to be found in someone else, but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do that, we need the other person. -Paulo Coelho

because I felt like it

Love?!

2009-11-11T11:58:00.000-08:00

This video.... was needed. Psychology at its best!

Story of my life =)

2009-11-10T20:26:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJyZe58cBpA

Me, myself and GOD

2009-11-10T19:24:00.000-08:00

What's your definition of it? How does it make you feel? Tell me what you say that truly makes it real. Kings and Queens, Philosophers have tried so hard to find. Tell me what it means to you dear, nevermind. Love is kind when the world is cold. Love stays strong when the fight gets old. Love's a shoulder to lean on. Love is you. Love's like the water when the well runs dry. Quench my thirst, keep me alive. Just need once too baby Love is you. Love is you, love is you, Love is you, love is you. Is it possible, there is a kiss that's so divine. Or am I just a fool, is it all in my mind?Is there something chemical, A scientist might say. Well love must be a drug To make me feel this way. Cause love's my permission to be who I am. No inhabitions cause you understand. Freedom to breathe oh baby. Love is you. Love's like a kiss when the sun goes down, Holds me tight when no one's around. Love's what I want to hold on to Love is you. Love is you, Love is you, Love is you, Love is you, Love is you, Love is you, Love is you, Love is kind, it makes me stronger, I don't have to look no longer, You're the one I cling to, Love is you. When the chips are down, Love will stick around. I'm so glad I found ..Love is you.As much as I've tried to clarify Love's quite simple, he's just my guy Perfect definition,
Love is you..Love is you, love is you..Love is you... is you...Noah, Love is you.

Chrisette Michelle. Love is you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZDd4LD3AM4

dont push it

2009-11-10T18:03:00.001-08:00

How I feel.

2009-11-10T17:55:00.000-08:00

somethings in life make me nervous.

like "love", singing in front of people, and failing.

*every time I attempt to make life go my way.. fail.

but then I feel like I am not really living..

I am.

*I love unconditionally.

I must..

Everyone goes through self discovery.

I wish you could be apart of mine and appreciate it for what it is. Maybe, just maybe, I am a gift from God.

Im going to stay right here.

random 2

2009-11-10T17:43:00.000-08:00

((SIGH))

SO I owe this school 6,ooo by friday..

How do you not focus on it...

...

Random

2009-11-10T14:59:00.000-08:00

I am learning how to trust GOD!

a toast pt 3

2009-11-04T19:37:00.000-08:00

This is a toast to:

foolery-be-gone=

retarded time wasters and dream crashers who suck you dry to fill their emptiness, but they love you right?
No. You're their toy so play the game.

B00!

2009-11-04T19:23:00.000-08:00

I gotta boo..

I gotta boo, who got another boo, who got another boo that aint you.
See, halloween is over but people still trick or treat..
I wonder if there are any treats, left for me..
Trick!! Is what I have become..
just another joke to laugh at because I just aint got enough..... apparently.
Oh well. Maybe next year... N0T!

If you stink..

2009-10-30T10:17:00.001-07:00

If you stink, take a shower.

If you are hungry, eat.

If you are tired, rest.

If you're growing, buy new clothes.

If you stink, PLEASE take a shower.

3veryday

2009-10-26T23:53:00.001-07:00

Everyday I have to choose.......

BLACK or WHITE

Lesson learned

2009-10-26T16:46:00.000-07:00

There comes a point in your life

let unnecessary people go.

There is a truth that is recognized

"DOES THIS MATTER!?".

There comes a time in your life....

Im not wasting time on you anymore!

Take your

2009-10-25T17:37:00.000-07:00

VITAMINS

Koresh Dance Company

2009-10-24T01:18:00.001-07:00

Is so beautiful.. I dream to train with them..

Church Bells -Beyonce-

2009-10-23T16:40:00.001-07:00

I felt this....

unconditional body

2009-10-23T12:15:00.000-07:00

.speaking from my heart.

I was born to love every

body, but I cant love any

body, because does not my

body, need love too?

I was born to love un

conditional through the confusion of

conditional and fluctuating love.

to love so hard that it changes someones

current condition.

constantly purified, I love.

Hungry

2009-10-23T12:06:00.000-07:00

I missed breakfast because I overslept. I slept through all three of my class. I was up writing essays at 5/6 am. I emailed my professors and told them i wasn't feeling to well. I mean, is partially true. I was not feeling too well because if I was I would've did my homework way earlier in the day like a wise student.... procrastination can ruin your life. Dont let it ruin your life! You have to eat breakfast...

Twitter fails me

2009-10-22T20:53:00.000-07:00

I recently realized how much I was wasting my time on twitter. . .

#epicfail. it was fun while it lasted.. but it was not what I was into. boredom to the max.

back to reality.

CHECK THIS OUT PPL!!!

2009-10-21T07:13:00.000-07:00

Be Happy! Just because of the freedom to be ALIVE. Take advantage of the minutes that seem to go pass and MAKE them slow down so you can take your moment ON stage and SHINE!

live YOUR LIFE LIKE ITS GOLDEN!! -thx JILL SCOtt!

((Sigh))--Grateful

2009-10-18T15:47:00.000-07:00

As I walked in the library, I began to feel an overwhelming rush of appreciation for my school. I am a student. For once, I am grateful for just being able to learn. I can learn, yo! Inspite of the finances, the hardships, the weather changes, the unnecessary foolery going on around me. I am a student. It is not often that I feel this way, so I am going to take advantage of it and knock out a ton of homework.

be grateful for whatever place you are in this very moment..

like this tree.. it remains beautiful!

Strange Fruit

2009-10-17T18:33:00.000-07:00

because I miss dance.. and I like my back.. =)

a toast to pt 2.

2009-10-17T18:28:00.000-07:00

...they say dont look for it
you dont really know it
so let it come to you and
focus on priorities.

I feel like i have tasted it before
so i should be somewhat familiar
but the chefs here in this city
dont seem to know how to cook it
maybe im IN the wrong restaurant.

a toast to

2009-10-17T18:01:00.001-07:00

1.---If I had an opportunity to experience it with that special someone....

B. Nicole CASTINE!!!!

2009-10-16T22:45:00.000-07:00

Brandelyn N. Castine

Brandelyn N. Castine is the author of Everybody Plays the Fool, a novel; Spoken Silence:
Life in Four Parts, a volume of poetry; and the novel U.G.L.Y. Castine was born in Texas
and raised in Pasadena, California. As a child, Castine was exposed to writing by her
grandmother who wrote a book in the 70’s called On the Duarte. Inspired by talent of
women in her family, she began writing in her journal and drawing to express herself. In
high school, Castine furthered her interest to writing poetry and after taking a creative
writing course at Cirtus College decided to pursue writing professionally.

Later, Castine earned her bachelor’s degree in English for the University of California,
Berkeley. At Berkeley, Brandelyn was the recipient of several awards and accolades
including the Crothers Prize in Literary Composition. After graduation, she wrote her first
novel, Everybody Plays the Fool. This work was instrumental in creating the voice of this
author and establishing her position in the contemporary fiction world. Through her
writing, Castine hopes to inspire people to love themselves more and always strive to
achieve their goals. Castine spent 3 years working on her latest novel, U.G.L.Y. who’s
main goal is to show readers how to combat self-esteem issues and refuse to allow the
media to dictate how people feel about themselves.

Castine currently lives in the Bay Area where she is also a contributing author in the
Gumbo For the Soul Anthology, a project that was created to raise funds to support
literacy programs in the Bay Area. In addition, Brandelyn is currently working as a
freelance writer for Leather, Empress and Vapors Magazines.

http://beencee.com/blog2/index.html
http://beencee.com
Twitter: @BeeNCee

I love this woman. My sister! She is soo beautiful.. SO talented... SOO SOOO SOO Creative and inspirational. She just got through singing to me. Tamia's "You put a move on my heart" Her book U.G.L.Y. is out. Order it at the site!! NOW!!!

"Oh, Im feeling so good. I have been so productive and busy...and loving life. Lemme read my short story to you." -B.Castine

Whats happening to me...

2009-10-16T06:33:00.000-07:00

SHE HAS SO MUCH TO SING ABOUT. i <3 IT

WAS BEING NOSEY ON YOUTUBE AND CAME ACCROSS THIS COMMENT:: Why that is every singer seems to be compared to Beyonce? I do not understand; do not get me wrong Beyonce can sing as can Fantasia. They have two different voices but Tasia, got soul and power beyond her voice. I love both but you cannot compare everyone to Beyonce. Tasia is one the leagues of Soulful singers and Beyonce are with pop-singers. Come everybody seriously, Beyonce should not be the center of every singer.

Tamia

2009-10-15T23:33:00.001-07:00

I miss this kind of singing...

ON MY MIND.

2009-10-15T20:47:00.000-07:00

WHAT IS IT THAT MAKES YOU TIRED? THAT MAKES YOU APPRECIATE THE FEELING OF BEING TIRED. WHAT/WHO ARE YOU LIVING FOR? IF YOU SAY, YOURSELF- THEN COOL. IF YOU SAY, GOD-EVEN BETTER. I FIND, THAT IN MY MAIN PURPOSE ARE LITTLE SMALL GOALS THAT TICKLE MY CURIOUSITY. IT MAKES ME WANT TO PURSUE LIFE IN ALL OF ITS ENTIRETY. AT THE SAME TIME THOUGH... THERE ARE SOME THINS I RATHER NOT DO. "/

FOR EXAMPLE. I USUALLY LOVE DOING HOMEWORK. I HONESTLY APPRECIATE THE CHALLENGE. HOWEVER, RECENTLY I HAVE BEEN VERY NONCHALANT TOWARDS MY STUDYS INDEPENDENTLY.. I ENJOY THE CLASS SESSION AND WHAT NOT.. BUT I DONT REALLY LIKE DOING MY HOMEWORK ALONE AT LEAST. I HAVE TRIED CHANGING SCENERIES, AND VENUES.. ITS JUST NOT WORKING. I SLEEP ALLLL THROUGH OUT THE DAY TO..

I THINK I HAVE A CASE OF LAZINESS.. WHICH IS SOOOO WEIRD. I MISS DANCING. A GREAT DEAL... I MISS BEING IN THE STUDIO AND IN THE MIRROR. I MISS DEDICATING MYSELF TO THE AUDIENCE. IDK.

WHEREEVER YOU ARE IN YOUR LIFE... APPRECIATE THE PROCESS... AND DOCUMENT. =)

I love you Noah

2009-10-15T19:05:00.000-07:00

I MISS GOING TO FASHION CLUBS, DRINKING, AND DANCING MYSELF INTO A SMALLER PANTS SIZE... I MISS IT. LOL. THEY DONT REALLY HAVE MANY OUT HERE IN PHILLY. AT LEAST NOT FOR CHEAP. I WAS TOLD TO NEVER PAY 20 FOR A CLUB AGAIN... SO.. UNTIL IM 21.. OR "EXCLUSIVE" THEN I WILL BE DANCING IN MY ROOM, AND PRIVATE PARTIES..
HERES TO ENJOYING LIfE ")

I miss my boots.

2009-10-15T18:40:00.001-07:00

For Real

2009-10-06T12:23:00.000-07:00

The definition of

2009-09-23T06:14:00.000-07:00

I am starting a series in my dorm about unnecessary cultural differences. My idea/goal is to just express my frustrations, motivations, excitements, and questions. Some poetry will be included. Still in progress though.

Stay creative folks and continue to THINK.

???

2009-09-21T18:55:00.001-07:00

Its funny, I have beenng sitting her for the longest time trying to get my thoughts out..
My head feels so cloudy, tight, yet relax. It feels like I have been attacked. Im feeling a little weak. I surely need prayer right about now.

**UPDATE**
I am yet still incredibly blessed. All of the things that I need to survive and more has come to me. It reassures me that, by faith, I can do all things because My Father will equipt me with all of my needs & Also some of my wants.

I am currently reading a book called, "Destined to Reign" by Joseph Prine. As I read I notice I [eat] as if I havent read in a long time.

I also have this feeling while I am at church (LFC-The kingdom Church). My spirit feels as if it needs a huge empowerment. I feel like a homeless person that is always hungry.. never completely full. However, I seem to get enough to last me through the week. I dont know. It is a really interesting place.

(KEEP WRITING)- I got a very encouraging word from my mother.. How she sees me accomplishing big things. Specifically she sees me Teaching dance at different venues. Even though I often have visions of myself teaching as well. I didnt really make me think and dream as hard as I have been. [funny: I recalled that I was praying that God give me more vision more things that I can count on HIM to do.]

There is soo much good going on... and I feel the exact opposite.
Okay. Im done.
-the end

BRANDELYN N. CASTINE

2009-09-11T14:39:00.000-07:00

www.beencee.com

Nothing matters anymore. lol

2009-09-11T14:33:00.001-07:00

Twitter fail.
Facebook. semi fail
Myspace def fail.
youtube. N/A

Fail fail fail.... Im too through.
the end

Today =D

2009-09-05T16:59:00.000-07:00

Location: Philadelphia (clearly I am excited about living here.)
Listening to Ciara "Evolution"

I have deemed Saturdays "best friend day" It is a day where I allow my creativity to drown and swim wildly through the ocean. I am so privileged to be able to express myself in so many different ways. (Photography, Poetry, Dancing, Singing, Painting, Fashion-no particular order.) It is for others to enjoy, but it is also for my sanity. I am a creative being...as we all are. In a way though, mine is more personal and documentary-sacred even.

I took the Septa (train) to the city today and absolutely loved it. Looking outside of the window I could see the powerful/authentic graffiti on the windows and buildings, the full and healthy green trees, the birds... I was making my way to Koresh Dance Studio (which was closed, btw) to have a day full of classes. When that didnt happen, I went to get my hair done, and do some shoe and book shopping. So fun.

Two of my favorite childhood celebrities Mary-Kate/Ashley Oslen put a book out entitled "Influence" and In A.O's introduction she wrote:

"...never [believed] that there are boundaries or limits to anything [you] set your mind to. For the first time in [your] life, [you] are in complete control of [your] destiny. Like everything you put out there for the universe to see, it all comes back to you. Im finding out that taking my life to the next level is all about discovery. Being aware of the world around you requires you to pay attention to everyone and everything. But in order to stay grounded, you have to stay true to yourself. Diane Von Furstenberg once told me, 'You have to be your bestfriend'. I believe that.

Fly, right? This book is full of inspiration/ other artist who simply excersise their creativity; bringing to life their dreams. I think this book is excellent to have in your stash.
-the end

follow me on twitter. http://www.twitter.com/Ilovesmartwater

SOMETIMES

2009-09-05T16:37:00.000-07:00

I love this dudes music. So authentic. True Story.

"Sometimes...no matter how good you are to people you know, they will make you cry sometimes."-Raph Saadiq

ARE YOU FEELING OVERWHELMED?

2009-09-05T16:23:00.000-07:00

This was originally a note to my dearest..Smile, things will get better.

Its in times of discovery that you truly start to recognize your growth.-A.O

I really appreciate that reality can be changed.. It is never constant. Your destiny is in your hands. This goes for everyone. I have never really seen myself as "needed", I felt a buzz when I read that. At the same time I felt a cry coming from you.. I felt hurt, and all of these emotions that I dont know if I should have felt. I ask God.

Remember when we were talking on the train...
I said that your like a flower.. Growing. I want expound on it. Think of a concrete rose..

Between the rough and "permanent" solid concrete, lies possibilities you may never really know of. All you know is that as the days go by, the seasons, the years- that something is growing in between/behind the scenes. People don't realize how hard it is for a [rose] flower to grow... let alone, grow in a place that isn't suppose to be fertile. This includes our "past", our "circumstances", the things that "hold us back", even our old/personal "insecurities".

The flower pushes through all of the obstacles and although people see the glory.. (yeah, you know whats next..).. they do not understand the story. They don't see the flower pushing through bricks... through people stepping on top of it.. this is you. This is it hurting, the pain that seems unfair. and although it seems like things are happening back to back to back.... YOU know GOD always has a plan. That's why the flower faces, or is open up towards the sky... It understand that it's strength comes from the most high GOD. THAT GOD will help you grow.. He loves you.. & so do I.

MARY JB

2009-09-02T23:13:00.000-07:00

All I know is.. is that this video/song.. the bomb. I love it

http://www.mjblige.com/?utm_campaign=interscope&utm_content=twitter&utm_medium=intersco.pe-theone-retweet&utm_source=twitter.com

I am not mad at her! Quality. Quality. Quality!!!! Im excited..

Emotional Rollercoaster

2009-08-27T20:37:00.001-07:00

As I wrote (NEW NEW) weekly email to my girlfriend, I started thinking about how much I appreciate being somewhere other than home. Even though I feel like I am an emotional wreck. Like P.Woods says, "Its a part of the process" Even though I feel like I dont fit in. "Its a part of the process." Even though I am not use to the food, water, or ppl... You get my point.

[sidebar: today I wore my S.Perry's, ripped Old navy Jeans, and a red vneck. So comfortable.] & for the first time it was about 72 degrees out here. Something that I am used to. Tonight for homework I have to read 40 pages of English, the BOOK of Genesis and write a paper on it for Intro to Bible, and Look at my H&M magazine. Tonight I may only get about 4 hours of sleep. But it is okay. Im enjoying the process...sometimes.

"I guess for the first time I can say that I’m not afraid of growing up. A lot of character flaws that God wants to mold out of me and finally, for once, I am quiet, in my secret place listening. I know that the relationships that bear fruit will continue to prosper and grow. I no longer mourn the relationships that had to end because now I have more room for more fruit. Yes, there will be some tears, and yes it will hurt sometimes, but I have to keep my eyes focused on the lessons and who I will become as I am tried in the fire."-My sister BRANDELYN N.CASTINE (check her out: http://beencee.com)

Stay committed to the process folks. Dont disdain it.
-Noah J.

First weekend in LANGHORNE. aka PBU

2009-08-21T20:13:00.001-07:00

I am completely in awe of GOD right now so I am going to get to the point...

When I left San Fran, CA I was really nervous and sad and a bit scared, mainly because I was departing from my mother. I felt a detachment from her that I have never felt before. =( I got on the plane.

When I finally landed in Philly, it was the best feeling of accomplishment ever. I did not know what to expect.. I just opened my eyes and took in everything. I enjoyed the beauty of my new city. When I arrived at PBU, I was so tired I took a nap on my sheets (all I can pack at the time). I woke up and met my roomate, Mitch- who is awesome btw, our second night here and we already have goals to keep each other accountable and on top of things.
His mom left. Mitch went to mingle. & I think I went back to sleep. I woke up and decided I should go out and mingle as well. When I got to the main door, Mitch's Mom, (Mrs. West- they call her Tex) was coming in with a lot of bags of things she purchased for Mitch. When we unloaded the things she purchased, Mrs. West was just putting things on my side of the room. "This is yours... This is yours... Oh, and this is yours.." It happened so fast I didnt even know how to get a smile out. (Shouts to the West family!!) My heart wanted to break out with a praise, but I didnt want to come off as crazy.... A full bed set and pillows.. clothing basket.. and a lamp..=D too grateful...

That day ended with other fun things but this is the highlight of things..

THE NEXT DAY.. WE DID THE VARIOUS CAMPUS ACTIVITIES AND THEN MITCH AND I DITCHED with his mom/pops. His pops is a cool dude btw. Amazing. We went to a few places. We visited Grandmas house, (after we got some hoagies)-nice warm home, in the east coast. I loved it. It was relaxing. Of course this is after we were drowned with hot summer rain.. =/ Rude! Then we went to Mr/Mrs. Hawkins house. I decided to stay in the car because I had fell asleep. Right when I was drifting off, Mrs. Hawkins came to the car and was like, "Noah!? Get in this house boy! I want to meet you!!" =) She was so beautiful. I rushed in the house like she told me too. She lived in this HUGE, HUGE house that seemed like it was in the forest (Oh btw, we are in New Jersey right now) so Mitch and I of course knock out to sleep after drinking our sodas she gave us. I think Mrs. West/Mrs. Hawkins left to go somewhere. & before I knew it..it was time to go. Fyi: I love going to mature folks homes.. It is soo peaceful and relaxing.. you can tell the house was a praying family. Mrs. West handed me over a lump sum of money that was from Mrs. Hawkins. AGAIN! I was like... um.. wow. I told Mrs. Hakwins thank you. She told me.. to leave her with my address because she is going to be sending Mitch/I someting every month. I wanted to roll on the floor..!!

.... right!!

So we listen to Mr. West tell his childhood stories and give us [me] a little history on who Mr./Mrs. Hawkins were. Then we all prayed and bounced...

=D I was just in awe of everything. the West family and I were talking about PBU and their excitement for Mitch and I.

Now we are at another home..and the steak I just had.. was awesome. I talked to the woman of the house about my primary major (youth ministries) and it turns out she she is the director of the youth at Epiphany. The church that I will be attending with the West family before they leave for Texas. I also talked to her about how I was previously a theatre arts/dance major. Her sister went to school for theatre and is getting ready to establish a drama ministry at the church. Along with some other things that are going on. I just know that I am meeting ALOT of ppl.. and being blessed incredibly. It is really humbling. Like Mr. West said, "Recieve it with thanksgiving & love, and give it right back to someone else when you can"

until next time..
there is a whole lot where that came from..

Noah.

GOD is leading me out of here..

2009-08-15T23:08:00.000-07:00

*My godmother sent me this passage through text message. It serves as another confirmation for me. I am in awe of GOD..check this out..

Isaiah 52 (The Message)

Isaiah 52
God Is Leading You Out of Here
1-2 Wake up, wake up! Pull on your boots, Zion! Dress up in your Sunday best, Jerusalem, holy city!
Those who want no part of God have been culled out.
They won't be coming along.
Brush off the dust and get to your feet, captive Jerusalem!
Throw off your chains, captive daughter of Zion!

3God says, "You were sold for nothing. You're being bought back for nothing."

4-6Again, the Master, God, says, "Early on, my people went to Egypt and lived, strangers in the land. At the other end, Assyria oppressed them. And now, what have I here?" God's Decree. "My people are hauled off again for no reason at all. Tyrants on the warpath, whooping it up, and day after day, incessantly, my reputation blackened. Now it's time that my people know who I am, what I'm made of—yes, that I have something to say. Here I am!"

7-10How beautiful on the mountains
are the feet of the messenger bringing good news,
Breaking the news that all's well,
proclaiming good times, announcing salvation,
telling Zion, "Your God reigns!"
Voices! Listen! Your scouts are shouting, thunderclap shouts,
shouting in joyful unison.
They see with their own eyes
God coming back to Zion.
Break into song! Boom it out, ruins of Jerusalem:
"God has comforted his people!
He's redeemed Jerusalem!"
God has rolled up his sleeves.
All the nations can see his holy, muscled arm.
Everyone, from one end of the earth to the other,
sees him at work, doing his salvation work.

11-12Out of here! Out of here! Leave this place!
Don't look back. Don't contaminate yourselves with plunder.
Just leave, but leave clean. Purify yourselves
in the process of worship, carrying the holy vessels of God.
But you don't have to be in a hurry.
You're not running from anybody!
God is leading you out of here,
and the God of Israel is also your rear guard.

It Was Our Pains He Carried

13-15"Just watch my servant blossom!
Exalted, tall, head and shoulders above the crowd!
But he didn't begin that way.
At first everyone was appalled.
He didn't even look human—
a ruined face, disfigured past recognition.
Nations all over the world will be in awe, taken aback,
kings shocked into silence when they see him.
For what was unheard of they'll see with their own eyes,
what was unthinkable they'll have right before them."

R.i.P. gameboy? =(

2009-08-13T00:28:00.000-07:00

So Today was an awesome day. Except. I could not find a game for my gameboy color anywhere! I was sort of highly upset about that...because... I was looking forward to playing it. Like for real. I am a bit sad. Anyone have any suggestions. I was thinking about ebay. But I really dont know, and am not to familiar with that site.

SSI

2009-08-12T13:36:00.000-07:00

SO SSI.

Does not play. Like anything new that happens in my life, must be told to them. ex: Job, school, location change.. and all of the details of each. the who, what, when, where, and why...

I thought it was very interesting..

Be courageous

2009-08-12T11:04:00.000-07:00

I had to start my day off with a praise..
I have so much to do before I move, and it is the most smooth/chaotic process ever. My family have been getting my mail and reading it, but never bringing it to me. Making everything a lot harder. (Totally missed the deadline to turn in my financial aid)

Last night I wrote a song.. I kind of like it. The melody is really sweet. Its kind of weird though because I have never written a song ever. I made myself laugh because I kept asking myself, "what are you doing?! Are you really doing this?!" My girlfriend told me to stop putting an "er" to who I am. I am not just a dancER, singER, but way more. & At then end of the day it is not about me. So this summer I really became attached to journalling, blogging, painting, drawing, singing, dancing- to creativity as a whole. I have surprised myself.

I am so excited about my new school. I have a lot to look forward to.. A whole lot..
I am enjoying the NOW though...

Be strong & courageous...
embrace your gifts and talents,
its apart of life.

I got my first...

2009-08-12T11:03:00.001-07:00

Pedicure.. Last week. It felt really good.

Lisa Mcclendon- Pause

2009-08-11T22:06:00.000-07:00

___days until Philadelphia.

2009-08-11T17:48:00.001-07:00

I am getting more excited by the day. You really dont understand. This was a thought about a year ago. I applied two months ago, was accepted by the next month. Then.. BAM.. AHHHH~!!!! =)

I am a part of everything, and everything is a part of me.

2009-08-06T01:54:00.001-07:00

1. I typed a long blog.. and some kind of way I pushed 'backspace' and lost all of the stuff. DARN!

Longstory short. Today was an amazing day. I handled my responsiblities like a young adult. Paid bills. Did Laundry. Gassed the vehicle. Etc. After all of that awesomeness I ran into one of my bestfriends from high school, Evan. We caught up after I got back from bible study and that was amazing as well. Miss the bro. At the end of the night, and start of the morning, I am grateful for the friends that I have in my life. They are small in number but large in quality. They stick by me- the good, bad, healthy or sick, money or no money, happy or sad- ME! I appreciate that. & I love them for it. Everyone shouldnt comment this note, cause it may not be you..Nonetheless be grateful for what you have.. now. Cause right now you have all that you need to be content. Enjoy it before its gone, or before you relocate. Luckily I have created lasting relationships in Calif. I have nothing to worry about. All of the foolishness will fall off anyway. I am leaving last seasons "friends" in last season. I am holding tight to my lifetime aka rideOdies.... 13 more days until I fly to Philly.
Be blessed
Noah.

2009-07-15T16:39:00.001-07:00

Our Bodies Are God’s Temples

1 Corinthians 3:16 Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you? (17) If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him; for God’s temple is sacred, and you are that temple.
1 Corinthians 6:19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; (20) you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

Acts 17:24 The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands.

Sky is not the limit

2009-07-14T01:07:00.000-07:00

You say life's been hard on you.
Well brother I got news; it's hard on me too.
We seem to face the same old issues.
Some are just surface, some are deep some deep down in the tissue.
And I know slavery has played its part, word.
Being separated and subjugated and that passes to the brain of a child
So I want to step off what was, and and start with the right now
You say "the world just don't understand"
But I ain't the world my love, I'm your woman.
And I know how deep it really goes
Trying to tread on a dream when the water feels low.
Ohh, if our ancestors could walk, barefoot, afraid in the dark, for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles
I know we can do this, come on let's start.
~Jill Scott

Rough Draft.. Dreams

2009-07-10T01:26:00.000-07:00

So here is like a rough draft of the dreams and stuff that I have. I was a conversation to one of my prayer partners but it is what it is.. Im going to write a more "formal" one later. But I wanted to share it with the folks who build me up and constantly inspire me to be more.

I mean...
`I want to join like 2 or three companies
`I want to dance for the whole world.
`I want to study at Ailey
`After Pbu I want to go to UARTS in philly and really studyy Studyy dance like BAM.
`University of the Arts in Philly http://www.uarts.edu/academics/cpa/dance.html
`I want to also be a lyrical dance teacher/professor
`All of my passions I Want to master!
`I want to do full time Ministry primarily.
`I have these dreams....lil direction=I get smalls directions ya know?
`does that make sense?
`dancing is like-medicine... gift... heart...TO ME.
`I just want to study it...
`I want to be schooled in dance
`I have too many talents
`I want to master them all and be powerful and like effective
`like Im called to youth ministry
`i want to be able attract all types of youth tho.....
`I WANT TO REACH A GENERATION....like I want to go beyond Ailey- for the KINGDOM tho
and I will. I love that Nashone said that we have to be excellent at being servants of God because the world is good at what they do.
`YES-thats my vision. ITS MUCH.. I THINK I CAN ACHIEVE IT.
`I want to be that impactful
`PBU+Uarts=SOMETHING POWERFUL
`do u see what im trying to do?

lol
`Kindom Hippy you can call it. lol Kingdom Hippy
`Something about Gen X
`But thats the whole vision for real...lol- Thanks for reading

... Patience..

2009-07-07T16:24:00.001-07:00

I am ready to go...

no title needed

2009-07-04T19:30:00.001-07:00

Have you ever felt like crying.

I mean nothing is wrong per say.. just "growing pains"- at least that's what they call it.

losing a lot.. all for a new beginning. I ask myself, dang.. it has to be worth it!.. i mean.. is it worth it???

My faith & trust in GOD is tried.. I pray first before I start making foolish decisions.. And I know its nothing but His enabling power keeping me....

if only this transition can go any faster...

Airplane Ticket

2009-06-30T12:14:00.001-07:00

Pbu has finally received my whole application!!
you know what that means right!!?

Today

2009-06-27T17:30:00.000-07:00

Today I learned a valuable lesson. Well first off, I prayed and ask God to reveal to me the areas in which I can improve more -with HIS help of course- and I was quite upset with what HE showed me. How I basically can improve as a leader by communicating more with the members of the group when things bother me. I allowed anger and irritation to creep in and distract what God was trying to do. I felt relieved to be able to apologize to a particular person, and some tension was removed. So I think that is awesome. I am just going to continue to seek God for guidance and direction. The enemy is not going to destroy relationships that GOD intended to be good. I refuse to allow that. I thank God for folk that love me, like truely love me. I pray that I have more opportunities to have healthy conversations like today.
-Noah

CONGRATS!! YOU HAVE BEEN..

2009-06-26T16:09:00.000-07:00

I AM ANTICIPATING THE DAY WHEN PBU SAYS "CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE BEEN ACCEPTED!"
I ALREADY HAVE AN IDEA AS TO WHAT I AM GOING TO DO. FIRST I SEE MYSELF SCREAMING SUPER LOUD! AND READING AND RE-READING THE LETTER OVER AND OVER AGAIN. THEN IM GOING TO RUN AROUND OUTSIDE WITH NO SHOES AND SCREAM SOME MORE. NEXT I SEE MYSELF SMILING HARD AND LOOKING AT GOD LIKE.. "HOMIE, YOUR TIGHT! THANKS FOR HAVING MY BACK!"
I CAN FEEL THE EXCITEMENT NOW. AFTER ALL OF THE CELEBRATION IM GOING TO FINISH THE PAPER WORK SO I CAN START PLANING MY FLIGHT AND FIGURING OUT HOW IM GOING TO GET ALL OF MY STUFF OVER THERE. I DEFINITELY PLAN ON STAYING THERE AND ESTABLISHING MYSELF. I SEE THE JOB.. THE CAR!!... I SEE MYSELF IN LAYERS-OVER LAYERS IN THE WINTER TIME.. I SEE IT!!!!! =0 I SEE MYSELF STUDYING HORTON (CANT FORGET ABOUT THE DANCE). I CAN IMAGINE IT ALL.

SIGH..
Cant you see it!?

New direction.

2009-06-22T16:10:00.000-07:00

Ever felt like you were getting ready to embark a new journey?
Well, I thought I knew where I was going...but...
I get these dreams/visions of myself doing awesome things.
I get excited! Im applying to another university.(PBU) I dont think I belong at my the current school I am at.(CSUEB) Its time I trust GOD, to accept the challenge. To rise above.

Im ready.

"Its your dreams, your choice, your life so dont you miss it"- GET UP, Mary Mary

Notes

2009-06-12T10:03:00.000-07:00

Im an entertainer.
*Dancer
*Singer
*Actor

Shows

1. The Wiz (Belasco Theatre Company) Summer 08
2. Tongues (CSUEB- Eric Kupers) Fall 08
3. Sophisticated Ladies (CSUEB- Daryl V. Jones) Jan- Mar 09
4. Iago Syndrome (CSUEB- Marc Jacobs/Nina Haft) Mar 09
5. Tongues @ The Kennedy Center (CSUEB-Eric Kupers)
April 2009

REAL friend

2009-06-11T17:02:00.000-07:00

Proverbs 17:17
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Proverbs 18:24
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Im excited about a new relationship that just came into play. God answers prayers.

Horton Tech

2009-06-11T16:47:00.000-07:00

I had my first Horton Technique class today and I am extremely excited. The instructors name was VERONICA!! She was so beautiful. I have only been dancing for a year now and I have made some amazing progress. I am feeling refreshed. eager. patient. airy. and just alive! Awesome stuff!
This year I look forward to training with some of bay area's finest artist.

Shay

2009-06-08T23:10:00.000-07:00

this girl is truly my "ryde or die" and pretty much my only one.
I love her so much. We have been friends since the sixth grade.. Funny moment: Our senior prom we both got in trouble cause we thought we was too grown in our Ford Mustang hanging until 3 am trying to get drunk. Of course I achieved it.. She was tipsy. Whew the old days. & We are only 19. I wonder if we are going to be friends at 70.